I bring you my first piece of fanfiction about Bleach and my first Fanfiction in english.This is something that I had in my mind for a long time, and wanting to improve my English, (because I still have a lot to learn) I wrote this fic. Constructive criticism about English grammar are welcome. The title is a japanese song called Blackout by Tokyo Jihen.
Disclaimer: Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.
Rated :T/Angst/Post-arrancar-arc/Ishihime with a little bit of Ichihime one sided.
“Let’s go play somewhere, getting ahead of them all
I want to get even more drunk
Sadly filling cup after cup – more than the coldness, it’s the brightness I can’t stand”
[Translated] Song: Blackout –Tokyo Jihen
Nothing else in this world made me happy, than the sound of her laugh, her radiant smile like a rising sun, breaking the darkness. Her spirit, always intending to support everyone, so noble even with the enemy. The more I watched her, my admiration for her increased.
But I know, that sometimes that smile was her shadow of pain...
However, in that day, her smile was different, her eyes didn't sparked like always, -she must be hiding something- I thought. And I knew that was another heartbreak. I only could keep watching, waiting, desperately wanting to comfort her, but my selfish logic told me to not get involved and avoid any kind of disappointment.
She kept looking at the new couple, as the sun started to drown into the night, the absence of her smile, broke my heart, probably she was suffering more than me. Kurosaki and Kuchiki-san were together, all of us knew that, like something already told but never spoken.
Still watching, a part of me denied the possibilities of being with her. That shadow over her was too dark, drawing her into an empty, black void.
One shots...two shots...
She drank that liquid and coughed a little. That scared and annoyed me.
“Inoue-san” -I said, getting out of my silent vigil.
Beautiful Midnight. Karakura looked like a galaxy that felled upon the earth. We were on the top of one building.
-”I...Ishida-kun...what a nice surprise...” -she said, still coughing, her little smile faded.
-”¿Are you drinking alcohol?” -I said dumbly, but I couldn't help it.
She looked embarrassed a bit, but she managed to laugh. -”It's just...Scottish whiskey...” -she said in good English. But I couldn't bear to see her doing that, not for that reason.
-”Inoue-san, tomorrow is Tuesday and you have to...”
-”I don't care...” she said bitterly. That kind of tone in her voice made me anger even more. She didn't looked like the girl that I used to see, and all was because her crush on that moron.
-”Ishida-kun...”-she said now filling the glass with that liquid -”let's drink together...”
I sat down, next to her. -”We're underage and anyway, how did you...”
-”I Know. I don't care...” -she handed me the glass. I took it and she looked at the midnight sky. -”I want to drink...get drown and not think…”
The anger, the sadness inside of me was tearing up my chest. And I drank, that liquor burned in my mouth, that felt disgusting...
One shot, two shots...
Deep inside of me, I wanted to drink and not think, just like her...and sink into a world of blissful ignorance.
But I couldn't. I had to get us out of there, throw away the temptation.
-”Inoue-san. Let me take you to your home. It's late...” -I insisted, starting to get dizzy.
-”To watch that house, where my diary is...that book full of my thoughts about him? “ -She said, fighting her tears. -”I don't...want to cry, never again...”
Frustration, anger, sadness...
-”You deserve someone better than him!” -I said, tired of this injustice. Why she? Why me? Why we had to fall in love and not being corresponded?! - “You got to stop wanting to be Kurosaki's girl...”- I said with resentment in my voice. Suddenly I felt guilt and fear of being too obvious in front of her. I was acting stupidly.
She smiled and tried to get up, but in the moment that she was about to fall again in the ground, I took her quickly, she fell into my arms. I hugged her and she returned the gesture.
-”You deserve to be loved too, Ishida-kun...”-she whispered against my mouth. -”Someone who truly loves you...”
She knew somehow, after all this time, after all that hard and good times that we shared together, my silent fight for being more than just friends.
I thought that she couldn't see that, that I was safe, behind my mask of self-confidence. I only remained silent, afraid to even breath.
But she was trying to keep me away from her, only because she was afraid to make me feel heartbroken, just like her with that idiot. I was disarmed and weak at the end.
-“I don’t care” –I said, resolutely. More than pride, was the fear of feel alone once again. But If she just denied me right now, I would obey her and accept my defeat without speak anything else.
She kissed me, demanding, taking everything from me, locking me into a hard embrace, we were holding each other in a attempt of throwing all away. That shot of Scottish whiskey was like a little flame, but her swift, deep kisses were like a fire-storm that was burning me alive. I only could hold her, feel her anger, that sadness, that loneliness that I wanted to erase so badly.
“Would you…stay with me?” –she asked, burying her face in my chest. – “I don’t want to go home.”
“Sure.” –I answered, still embracing her. With clumsy footsteps, she hold me before fall on the ground. Inoue-san couldn’t drink many alcohol after all. I guided her, but she still managed to take us into a large walk, among the large streets. She was singing, mostly for herself, but even her energetic song, sounded like a broken dream that she was tying to give a proper funeral.
And soon, exhausted, before dawn, she fall asleep in my arms.
Before that day, I always took care of that diary, It was like a relief, write all my troubles in that book. But the more I watched that diary, the more I wanted to erase it. Being able to reject events, that could be done easily, right?
Not like that. Not in that way.
In the days after that long night, I couldn’t said anything about that to anyone, even Tatsuki. She would feel more alarmed, and I didn’t wanted to bother her.
I was ashamed. First, drinking alcohol being underage. My brother would be annoyed and sad if he could see that. And the most embarrassing thing was to see Ishida’s face of anger. I felt so bad after that, I was unable to see into his face again. While I looked at the diary, I thought about my old infatuation for Kurosaki-kun, that was slowly fading away, like recovering after a long night of alcohol abuse. And I burned it simply, like every human, into the fire.
I returned to the school, trying to look happy as always. I couldn’t blame Kurosaki-kun or Kuchiki-san, after all they are my friends. But Ishida-kun… Days still flowed and I wanted to spent time with him, make apologizes, discover why I kissed him like I did that night, I was sure that wasn’t anything to do about the whiskey…
Now that I see Ishida-kun…he’s always serious, keeps doing that movement of fixing his glasses. He's determined, smart....but he rarely smiles...
“Are you avoiding me?” –was his demand. He approached me when I walked back towards my house. The passion in his blue eyes was something that I couldn’t take. I felt unworthy of his selfless love.
“Ishida-kun…” –I pronounced his surname, with shame in my voice.
-“I’m not judging you.” –He said far away from pity, but close to understanding me. –“Because I wanted to drink too…”
-“And you didn’t because you are smarter than me” –I laughed without humour, really.
-“No, because two people in that state are worst than one.” –he answered.
I smiled and looked down. He came closer to me.
-“Lift up your gaze. There’s nothing to apologize.”
-“Of course there is…I kissed you and…”
-“I told you. I don’t care. Even get hurt at the end. Quincys are prepared to die and suffer after all, Inoue-san…”
-“No.” – I was tired of this formalism between us.
Ishida lift up his eyebrows, confused.
-“Don’t call me Inoue-san anymore. Call me Orihime….” – I requested and his face softened.
-“Of course…and you could…” –he said blushing softly and touching his glases.
-“Sure, Uryuu!” –I said feeling happy in weeks. And probably he felt happy too because he had that soft smile.
–“You know what?….I want to eat a lot of ice cream. Let’s buy some.” - I said feeling a rush of relief. I wanted to runway from that past and escape with him. .
-“Yes. I would like to.”
-“Okay! Let’s go.” –I said, taking his hand and walking together, side by side.
Happy birthday Ishida-kun, I hope that Tite brings back your stomach, gives you more power and Orihime realizes how sweet you are!