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01 December 2010 @ 01:17 pm
Title: The Face of Despair
Author: chiave_trust
Character/Pairing: Orihime-centric Orihime/Ulquiorra
Rating: T for mature/depressing themes

Notes: Cultural notes are after the fic, though they can be looked up on Wikipedia as well.
Was written for the Ulquiorra Birthday Bash, so feel free to crosspost it in relevant communities. Is also short, so please read slowly.</b>


Despair, n.

The action or condition of despairing or losing hope; a state of mind in which there is a loss of hope; hopelessness.

-The Oxford English Dictionary

Grey eyes looked up at the sky, at the hole rendered in the ceiling, and could feel something whispering in the back of her mind.

Everything here was black and white, as far as the eye could see, and she kept hearing an announcer in the back of her mind stating that there had been "an accident" on the train line.

She had dutifully nodded her head when reports of suicides came, out of respect, but now -

Apologies for the inconvenience, there has been an accident on this line, so the train is stopped here for a short delay.

Everything sounded so calm now, in the space between words, in the space where she met Ishida Uryuu's eyes.

Apologies for the inconvenience...

Raspberry and azuki tarts seemed so far away, and in that moment everything seemed perfectly rational.

But then teal eyes flashed into her memory -

- and she wondered, she wondered if that was the reason why he was the way he was. Hollows - and arrancar - were remnants of souls, weren't they?

She imagined what it would be like to meet Aokigahara forest, if Aokigahara was a person, and imagined the person would have the face of Ulquiorra Cifer.

Still. Quiet.

And so very sad.

"Ishida-kun..." she indicated the hole in the sky. "With your powers, is it possible for you to take me up there?"

She wanted to see him again.

She wanted to see those eyes and show him hope.



Note: If you didn't know, Aokigahara forest is well known for its suicides. Also, jumping in front of trains is a very common method as well, and these incidents are referred to often as 'accidents', if I recall correctly.
kawaiisdreal1: Sympathykawaiisdreal1 on December 1st, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
Aaaw I got a tinge in my heart. :'(
Kit-chan: i can be lucidchiave_trust on December 1st, 2010 06:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I was watching episode 270 (the part where Ulquiorra tries to 'teach' Ichigo about despair) and it came to mind.
magnoliastorm on December 1st, 2010 09:30 pm (UTC)
this is kind of morbid, but kind of funny because i'm ridiculous.

but i lived in new york city for years and whenever a great massive crowd of people took over the platforms of the subway stations during rush hour and someone announced delays due to a suicide, EVERYONE would moan with irritation. goddamn, another suicide? now i'm going to be late for work

loved that you wrote this though. in my current fanfic that i'm writing, ulqui becomes human and chooses to become a philosopher who spends the rest of his life trying to figure out things like "despair" and what they mean. mr. kierkegaard provides some more optimistic perspectives on the concept of despair.

this was very moving. i wish i weren't in the middle of finals otherwise i'd do something to honor ulqi too. well done!
nagasasu: Spirited Away - Hakunagasasu on December 2nd, 2010 12:22 am (UTC)
I really like how moody this is. Real nice work.
_debbiechan__debbiechan_ on December 3rd, 2010 03:24 pm (UTC)

You always make my heart go ow.

In a good way of course.

Catching up with posts. Been sick as you know. Tell me to go back to bed.
Kit-chan: bookwormschiave_trust on December 3rd, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
Oh noes, it seems everyone's sick... go back to bed? Maybe there'll be surprises for you when you wake up.