I'll have the spoiler summary up when Annie writes it.
ETA: And here is Annie's much awaited summary! Read the post at BA and please rep Annie because she took time out of an important busy today to translate this!
Yammi taking a prat fall to the bottom floor? He's going to meet up with CHAD, his proper opponent and leave Ishida and Orihime to go find the hougyoku, he is! I didn't think it was possible for me to love Ishida more, and yet I do. Hime, where are you? I love how Ishida and Ichigo snark. And Ulquiorra the Jailer. What in world will his release look like? We'll be guessing ALL WEEK! Space and Annie say that "imprison" may be a better translation than "lock."
Here's the Valentine's Issue color page from here.
The rough translation of the side-text from Melodymix is
To Beautifully Guide The Heart