“Can I ask you something?”
Orihime turned toward the red-haired, flushed-faced Shinigami sitting next to her. “What is it, Renji-san?” she asked.
“Can you seduce Ishida for me?”
Orihime was silent. “Why would I do that?” she asked.
Renji was by now beet red. “I think Ishida is in love with you.”
Orihime was confused. Everyone knew what went on behind closed doors with the Quincy and Shinigami - no matter how they tried to keep it a secret. “But you two…”
“How so? I’m sure Ishida-kun loves you very much.”
Renji, if possible, looked slightly more mollified. “We’re comrades. We’re both… men! I don’t have… these!”
Unconsciously, his hand went to Orihime’s breast. She flushed a little bit herself. Normally, Tatsuki would have kicked someone so presumptuous in the head by now. But Tatsuki wasn’t here. “Oh,” she said, surprised.
“Sorry.” Renji’s hand didn’t move.
“It’s OK, Renji-san.” Orihime smiled at him, uncaring that he was touching her. The Shinigami was her friend, after all.
“They’re kind of soft,” he said. “I guess I see the appeal.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess you like the flat-chested dark-haired type,” Orihime teased him cautiously.
Renji paused and looked her up and down. “…You’re… not so bad yourself.”
“I mean, you’re pretty hot… as far as busty girls go.”
“Oh. Thank you!”
As if by fate of irony, Ishida opened the door at that moment. He paused, took one look at the placement of Renji’s hand, and made a great show of looking like he had not seen a thing. The Quincy turned around to leave.
“Oh, hi Ishida-kun!”
Obviously caught, Ishida turned around - keeping his eyes staunchly above chest level. “Good morning Inoue-san,” he said awkwardly. “What… were you two doing?”
“Planning how to seduce you!”
“C’mon, Ishida-kun, Renji-san, let’s go!”
“Wait… what? Renji, stop touching me for a second. Inoue-san, why are you taking off your shirt?!”