“You like her,” Renji said in an accusing tone. He had been enjoying messing with the Quincy’s mind while on stake-out. It helped passed the time and it was better than playing cards. Teasing uptight geeks was as good as it got.
Seeing the puffed up fashion addict bristle and push his glasses up his nose was definitely amusing. “I have no idea what you are speaking of.” His tone was clipped, formal and furious. Perfect.
“Oh don’t lie to me. What do you like about her? Is it that tight ass? That long hair? Those bouncing boobs that just move with her? I mean, the entire package is good, I just want to know what made you decide to take up women,” Renji queried. He had always considered Ishida someone who would be more attracted to a more…different source than a woman. But he supposed that if a captain who favored women also used cherry blossoms as a bankai, anything was possible.
“Say one more word against her honor and you’ll find yourself wishing you had never been born,” Ishida said, his left eye visibly twitching. The typical chivalry of a Quincy, unable to tolerate an insult against a female. It was kind of sweet, in a pathetic, archaic way. Where he came from, women could defend themselves without men stepping in and making it all better.
“Cool it, Ishida. I’m just saying, it’s okay to like her. I’d surely like to tap her. So why are you so ashamed about being in love with her?” Renji demanded, half at himself. He loved someone as well…and had never told her that she made his world. He had let her go, thinking it had been the right choice. And each day, it sucked just a little bit more.
“It’s none of your business. Now can we please concentrate on the matter at hand?” Ishida demanded, a vein pulsating in his forehead as his glasses hid his eyes. Renji was getting to him, he could feel it.
“I know you’re not muscular and good looking like me. I know that it’s scary to put your heart out and have it broken. But you aren’t that bad, some girls may like the scrawny fashion obsessed look,” Renji soothed.
“You’re insane. I am giving you a final warning,” Ishida hissed, and his spiritual pressure tensed. Renji was wondering when the guy would finally snap and admit he was madly in love with this girl. Maybe he was afraid. That was something Renji could understand all too well.
“Look, just take it from me. Don’t wait to tell her. Because if you do, she’ll find someone else and you’ll spend the rest of your life kicking yourself. I don’t care if you end up alone, but I just thought you should get the advice,” Renji explained, trying to be sympathetic. “But if you don’t like her, just say so. I’ll go for her myself. I prefer dark hair, but I’m always in for a change.” It was a low blow, but this guy was too uptight to respond to anything but intense ribbing.
“You lay one hand on the woman I love and I swear…,” Ishida snapped, his bow out and ready to shoot him into oblivion. Renji wasn’t entirely nervous, but he didn’t particularly like sharp, pointy objects pointed at him, especially when he was trying so hard to help.
“I thought I said, cool it. You don’t want Inoue hearing you threatening me so soon after you told her you loved her?” he demanded, pointing to his communicator which had a light blinking, hooked up to Rukia’s communicator, who was having a tea party with a certain bosomy healer.
The look on Ishida’s face was worth the entire effort.