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06 March 2007 @ 06:32 pm
Fanfic, NC 17 Shinigami Wedding Night, Ichigo Rukia  

It's been two years since I wrote Quincy Wedding Night and ever since then I've been wanting to write this piece. I don't know why I kept getting stuck on it.

Warnings: manga humor, het sex, drunk Isshin

Shinigami Wedding Night
by debbiechan

Description: Ichigo and Rukia get married. NC17. It’s quite the special day and very much a special night.

Disclaimer: There’s a Jewish saying that goes “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” Bleach belongs to all that love it. According to copyright, it belongs to Kubo Tite, Viz. Comics and Perriot Studios

Thanks to Finnigan Geist for early draft beta.

This one’s for Ileenka.

Weddings, sacred celebrations of love and commitment. That’s what all the bridal magazines said. That’s what the guests gushed about as they entered the Urahara shop. That wasn’t what Ichigo or Rukia had firstmost in their minds.

Rukia thought: three dress changes, don’t step on the kimono hem, keep smiling.

Ichigo thought: I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex tonight.

No one was surprised when Byakuya allowed Rukia to forego a proper Soul Society noble’s wedding and have a Living World one instead. The man had been getting lenient lately. Ichigo said that soon Byakuya would be breaking rules right and left, but Rukia said that the reason her brother didn’t want noble nuptials was because the pageantry would remind him of Hisana.

“Oh yeah,” said Ichigo. “I forgot that you look like her.”

A trace of sadness passed between the couple, but then they were bickering about who looked weirder in a formal kimono. Ichigo finally conceded that yes, he looked weirder, but at least Ishida had embroidered a “somewhat manly” flying eagle on the sleeve of the dark blue silk. Rukia’s kimono was deep red with what Ichigo called “girly” flowers.

“You do look weird,” he said, “but it’s ….” He lowered his voice. “It’s a beautiful-looking weird.”

At that, Rukia blushed the shade of her kimono. Then she punched her groom’s arm and told him to find his place because everyone was waiting.

Because marriages between Spirits were not legal in the Living World, the rites tool place in the Urahara Shop no-longer-secret underground. Performing the ceremony was not a temple priest but the new Soul Society Head of Research and Technology, Urahara Kisuke himself.

“Ah, here they are! Places everyone!” Urahara wore his hat and clogs. He hadn’t yet adopted his new Captain’s robes or worn Shinigami clothes once since acquiring his new status, but for some reason, his shopkeeper’s clothes didn’t seem disrespectful. Most of the people there had come to think of the uniform as one befitting a wise and powerful mentor. A man of authority.

Urahara stood in front of a leaf-less tree (Rukia frowned: He didn’t even bother to replace the dead trees?) and the bridal couple knelt before him.

The sacred moment was witnessed by only a special few. Kneeling behind the bride and groom were Isshin (weeping), Karin (squirming in a dress) and Yuzu (smiling at her new pink shoes). Yoruichi the cat wore a gold braided collar.

“We are gathered here today to witness the destined union of two Shinigami….”

Byakuya, appropriately solemn, and Renji, smiling a faint, wistful smile, knelt next to one another. Ishida and Orihime sat in matching blue kimonos almost as opulent as the bridal couple’s, and Tatsuki wore a velvet pantsuit with a bored expression. Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro (with his latest older girlfriend) wore dark suits and ties.

Tessai put an album on an old-fashioned record player, and unobtrusive albeit scratchy flute music played during the ceremony.

Ichigo and Rukia had not written their own vows on the grounds that they had nothing to say and wanted the ceremony to be short. Urahara, however, spouted so many fountains of philosophy and anecdotes that later Rukia would grumble about how lovely-dovey vows would have been better than The Urahara Kisuke Show.

The ceremony had been deigned to conclude in a non-demonstrative, non-affectionate, non-Western manner, but Keigo started the chant of “Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.”

Ichigo looked worried.

Then Isshin, still blubbering, said, “It’s okay, son--everyone knows now that you’re not a homosexual.”

That was going a bit far, Ichigo felt.

So, in a sudden move, he bent over, placed his large hands over Rukia’s tiny shoulders and planted a hard kiss on his startled bride.

The room went silent for the length of the kiss, and only the record skipping on a pretty phrase of music was heard.

Keigo would say later that he counted thirty seconds.

“Okay, show’s over,” Ichigo said. “Let’s go to the party.”

Because banquet hall reservations for ghosts were hard to come by, the reception was held in the assembly room of the Gotei 13, not far from the Kuchiki palace. Most of the guests were whisked away through Urahara’s spiritron converter, and the newlyweds and other Shinigami took the dangai route.

Awaiting Ichigo and Rukia were two rows of captains and vice-captains with zanpakutou held high forming a canopy. Ichigo didn’t understand what this construction was supposed to mean and whispered at Rukia to explain. She told him that they were supposed to walk under it, and they did--looking embarrassed and wondering why their Shinigami comrades stared dead ahead and looked so military.

The moment the couple passed through, the mood broke, and Iba announced that there was sake.

“I’m still not of age to drink the stuff,” Ichigo said. He was seventeen.

“I’m a couple hundred years old,” Rukia whispered, “but trust me, you don’t want to drink anything that the eleventh division has scrounged up. Very low quality stuff. Stick to the champagne.”

“Champagne?” Isshin’s super-talented Shinigami ears had caught that word. “Where?”

Rukia’s head cocked in the direction of a long, cloth-covered table behind which Hanatarou stood pouring liquor into glasses.

It was at this point that Isshin stopped crying and started to drink. Within a few sips, his demeanor evolved from sentimental to jocular, and he declared Shunsui-san his new best friend. Shunsui was given to wooing ladies with his verbal charms, but Isshin liked to fondle them outright. The pair spent most of the evening getting slapped.

The transition from a solemn ritual to festive gathering had required a costume change for the newlyweds. As many people complimented Ishida for Rukia’s strapless white sheath as congratulated Ichigo for having landed such a pretty bride. Ichigo wore his Shinigami clothes because, oddly enough, he felt most comfortable in this persona now than any other.

“Well, we’re married,” said Rukia. “Do you feel different?” She didn’t like champagne as much as she didn’t like sake and was drinking from one of the many juice boxes imported from the Living World to Soul Society for this special occasion.

“Not me,” said Ichigo. “Isn’t that dress a little revealing for your taste?”

“I like it,” said Rukia. “It would’ve been an insult to Ishida to refuse it.” Conversation and partying noises roared behind Rukia’s words. “He’s got another dress for me to change into before we leave for the honeymoon.”

“Damn,” said Ichigo. “Ishida really went all out.”

“It’s customary in Japan for brides to change clothes many times during wedding celebrations. Don’t you know your own customs?” Rukia’s voice rose in pitch. “Haven’t you ever been to a wedding?”

“This is my first one.” Ichigo looked at his feet.
“Well, there’s Ishida and Orihime’s next month,” Rukia said.

”That one will be my first human wedding.”

Ishida and Ichigo had contested as to who would get married first; Ichigo won only because human Ishida and fiancée could book a hotel, but they still had to wait for a reservation.

“Human…,” said Rukia, her voice soft and pensive now. “If I hadn’t gored you with my zanpakutou that night, what sort of person would you have been?”

“A bored one.”

The couple walked out of the crowded assembly room into a courtyard. Twilight was falling in blues and grays against the Seireitei buildings, and a crescent moon was rising.

Nothing was different: Ichigo and Rukia had been interlocking portions of shadow and light since a long-ago evening.

A spirit wind blew and stirred orange hairs on one head and black hairs on another.

The couple leaned against one another and kissed.


The wedding night happened near dawn. The revelers were supposed to cheer the couple who were supposed to leave the party covered in confetti and rice. But everyone was too drunk. Ichigo figured that the drunks had forgotten that he and Rukia even existed, so as a purple streak appeared on the night sky, and dawn was minutes away, he grabbed Rukia by the arm. Grinning at one another, they both shunpou-ed out of the assembly room.

Ichigo couldn’t wait to see what Ishida had sewed for the wedding night. He tried not to think about the Ishida sewing it part. Even if the Quincy’s motives had been nothing but the good-will of a friend, it was still too … weird that Ishida designed the sexy outfit that Rukia was supposed to shed upon coming out of the bathroom.

Or maybe Ichigo was required to tear it off?

He didn’t know the protocol. He really didn’t care.

I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex.

He hadn’t done it with Rukia yet.

Oh, he’d tried. After a few passionate kissing sessions and a mutual agreement that they were stuck with one another for all eternity, Ichigo had slipped his hand under Rukia’s school skirt but she had told him to stop it right there, Kurosaki Ichigo.

“Just where do you think you’re going with that hand?” Rukia looked beautiful when she  was indignant. “I’m pure, Ichigo. That’s not to say I’m not horny but I am pure.

“I’ll be gentle.” Ichigo had leaned forward for another kiss.

Rukia had grabbed him by the hair. “No, I mean I want to stay that way.”

“You mean you and Renji never--?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m pure. You’ve seen my zanpakutou. And besides, I’m royalty. You just can’t go around banging royalty in your own family’s house with your sisters sleeping down the hall.”

Ichigo had been reluctant to understand anything that Rukia was saying at the time but when she reminded him that Nii-sama would have his HEAD if he ever found out about Ichigo’s demolishing Rukia’s purity, the hand under the skirt had pulled away.

“So…are we ever--?”

“Not unless we get married.”

Ichigo had wasted no time. “Will you marry me, Rukia?”

“Idiot, you’re supposed to be romantic when you ask me that.”

“What do you want? Hearts and flowers? I love you goddammit. You have to know that we’re going to get married eventually. So let’s get married.”

Rukia had melted at the I love you part. Ichigo hadn’t said it before. “I love you too,” she’d said, at which point Ichigo shoved his hand under the skirt again and Rukia had grabbed his fingers and squeezed… hard.

“Nuh-uh. Not until after the wedding. Haven’t you been listening, dumbass? I’m pure.”

Now the defining moment was at hand. The reason Ichigo had suffered through being fitted for a kimono by Ishida (thank the gods he didn’t have to wear trousers--he would definitely have balked at Ishida’s measuring his inseam).

“Are you reaaaaady?” came a bright voice from the bedroom.

Ichigo and Rukia were temporarily being housed in the Kuchiki palace until a proper home could be found for them in Soul Society. A Soul Society honeymoon--that was as weird an idea as a Soul Society reception, but nothing could put a damper on Ichigo’s anticipation now. Not even the fact that Nii-sama himself was somewhere in this edifice.

“Yeah,” Ichigo said in a voice that he hadn’t meant to sound so choked and shy. “I’m ready.”

She walked out the bathroom with the moonlight.

Maybe it was Ichigo’s imagination but later he would swear that the moon rose in the window the moment she appeared.

Rukia’s nightgown was not in the slightest bit sleazy. A shiny white gown with a modest neckline. The sleeves were transparent and reached past her tiny hands in a regal style. The outfit suited her. It was perfection.

Thank you, Ishida.  Ichigo didn’t feel the least bit weird thinking that.

“Do you like it?” Rukia looked shy.

“It’s very pretty.”

Rukia walked to the foot of the bed where Ichigo was seated and put her hands on his shoulders.

“Aren’t you going to take it off?” Ichigo asked.

Rukia made a face. “Aren’t you going to even try to be a little more dignified?”

“No, no, what I meant was--” Ichigo put his hands on Rukia’s forearms and looked at her with the most sincere face he could manage. “I just don’t want to tear it or smoosh it or anything. It looks so … fragile.”


To hell with tearing it. Ichigo pulled Rukia into his arms and flopped her beside him on the mattress. His hand felt at her cleavage for buttons. He felt around for a zipper.

“How does this thing open?”

“You pull it off over your head,” Rukia said.

So Ichigo did that for her. In a careful but unhesitant motion, he pulled the fabric to Rukia’s arms and then felt his arousal double in size at the sight of her perfect breasts.

This, thought Ichigo as his crotch reassured him of his manhood, is the real reason I didn’t drink the sake.

Her skin was so white. Translucent almost. Not a trace of a blush on her elegant body. Her eyes challenged him. She was not afraid.

Ichigo was so glad that she wasn’t afraid.  He pulled her arms out of her sleeves and swept the shiny fabric over her head. He tossed the bundle of whiteness behind his shoulder.

“I don’t want you to take your time about this,” Rukia said resolutely. “Let’s get it over with.”

“Huh?” Ichigo frowned. “I thought--”

“I mean the first time. It supposed to hurt so just stab me like you’re doing a quick overhand sword thrust only don’t pull back to the guard and keep stabbing.”

This was terribly clinical. And not very attractive of Rukia.

“I wanted to take it slow,” Ichigo whined .“This is my first time too.”

“Look, we can do both--quick and slow. I just don’t want to be getting fondled all over before getting stabbed. I think I’ll enjoy it more after. Otherwise, I’ll be all anxious waiting for it to happen.”

“Oh.” That made sense.

Still, Ichigo couldn’t resist grazing on Rukia’s neck for a while. It was the softest part of her he’d touched so far. He kissed her there, covered her tiny breast with his large hand, and closed his eyes.


Rukia knew that Ichigo was going to need a lot of help. As instinctive a fighter as he was, he knew nothing about women, and she figured that his body wouldn’t adjust to hers right away.

She kneaded his shoulders as he kissed her neck. Really nice shoulders. The nicest she’d ever seen on anyone and that included all those showy Shinigami who liked to walk around half naked displaying their tattoos and explaining that oh, they’d “accidentally” forgotten their nagajuban when showing up for training.
Rukia smiled. Training troops in the fields last week and tonight training a lover.


Ichigo breathed the word against her neck, and even if she hadn’t felt his arousal stiffening against her, she would’ve known he was more than ready.

Let’s see… was there anything else she hadn’t addressed?  Most Shinigami couldn’t produce offspring but powerful spirits could make babies with other powerful spirits. There was no issue here. She and Ichigo wanted babies ASAP.


He was having altogether too much fun caressing her breasts. He could do that later.

“Ichigo? Please?” She wanted to get onto the actual de-virginization.

He hadn’t taken off his white robe, though and here she was completely naked. Not fair. She undid his obi and parted the fabric.

He flinched at the touch of her fingers. “Uh?”

It was like she’d woken him up from sleepwalking. “Do it now.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you,” Ichigo said. His eyes were full of tenderness.

“Dammit Ichigo, I’ve been punched through the abdomen by an Arrancar’s fist. I can take the pain; I just want to get this part over with so I won’t be nervous about it.”


He understood now, and in that moment, her thighs were in his hands and his groin positioned. His eyes were watery, tender and drunk with love. Rukia thought that maybe this part might be a good part after all.

Like an overhand thrust only don’t pull back to the guard. Do it, Ichigo.

“Here goes,” said Ichigo.

To Rukia’s ears the words were romantic in a way. She would never forget them.

Their hips collided and both said “ahhhh.” Ichigo’s ahhh was a sigh of appreciation; Rukia’s was merely an expression of shock at how forcefully Ichigo could pitch his lower body.

It didn’t hurt.

“It doesn’t hurt,” she told Ichigo.


There could be all sorts of reasons why; she would explain them to Ichigo later. Right now she was so happy that her virginity was over and she could start enjoying this marital bliss that she had been promised.

“Move,” she commanded. Her own hips were already moving--much to Ichigo’s gaped-mouth surprise.

“Take that robe off.”

Ichigo let it slide off his shoulders onto the floor.

“Kiss me.”

Ichigo’s kiss was so earnest and warm that Rukia was no longer the sergeant-major of this activity. She was melting. Swooning against the soft hairs on his chest. Sweeping hands across the smooth muscles of his arms.


It was love-making. It was sudden and intense and utterly new. Rukia’s spine arched and Ichigo pounded her with a confident, steady rhythm.

“I love you Rukia, I love you.”

If sex made him say that then Rukia was going to make sure they had sex very often.

When he began to grunt and his thrusts became more urgent, she realized that the passion in her body wasn’t on the same schedule as his. She felt for her clit and rubbed. Ichigo’s hairy groin knocked against her hand. Three rubs, one knock. Three rubs, one knock.

It drove him wild.

He was gritting his teeth not to finish before her.

The very sight of that struggling face made Rukia feel wet as an ocean. Her knees pressed his sides. The familiar current of pleasure shook her, but this time was different.

This time his arms held her as she orgasmed. His mouth breathed into her hair. He said something that sounded like her name, and in the throes of spasming, Rukia realized that this was losing one’s virginity. She would never be alone again; her joy was his joy. His joy was hers.

He came with his mouth open on her forehead. Hard. He sounded like he was dying. The low groan grew louder and then cut off.

He was panting. He was done. He flipped her over easily so that she lay on his chest, and Rukia was amazed at the naturalness of the gesture.

“I didn’t want to squish you,” he said.

“I know.”

This time looking at one another would have been too much for either  to bear so Rukia merely lay her head on Ichigo’s chest and listened to the roar of his heart.

Much later she said, “a sacred celebration of love and commitment.”

“Hmm?” He was still breathing heavy.

“What everyone said the wedding would be.”

“I know! It didn’t feel like that big of a deal. I know that for girls the dress, the party--”

“It wasn’t that big a deal to me either.”

It was early morning, maybe an hour or so past dawn. The wedding partying could still be heard from some distance, and Rukia just hoped that the eleventh squad wouldn’t find their way to this palace wing, sing ballads and pass out in the hedges.

“Do you feel different now?” Rukia asked. Her index finger was trailing small circles around Ichigo’s nipple. She knew that she was going to be ready for some more action soon.

“Oh yeah,” Ichigo said. “The whole universe is different now.”

What he didn’t say was because of you.

What she didn’t say was because of you.

But both felt the words in their hearts--you have changed my world--and kissed.

They would speak nothing else for a very long time.


More sexy one-shots to come. Tis spring, tis spring.
bittergourd tea; sugar-free.oymillefeuille on March 7th, 2007 02:13 am (UTC)
I love youuuu......thank youuuu. T-T I needed that..

Well it was funny. Ichigo feels a bit different, but it's understandable XD and I thought Rukia was going to be more shy, but it's okay, XD I love it all the same.

Thank you I love you <3

Let's look forward to 266!
bittergourd tea; sugar-free.oymillefeuille on March 7th, 2007 02:17 am (UTC)
oh yeah and I mem-ed this! XD
bittergourd tea; sugar-free.oymillefeuille on March 7th, 2007 02:22 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, I re-read this again (because I love it ^_^) and I thought this might sound better with 'Kurosaki Ichigo' instead of 'Ichigo-san' ? Just a thought. ^_^"

//Ichigo had slipped his hand under Rukia’s school skirt but she had told him to stop it right there, Ichigo-san.//

Ahaha this part was pretty funny too. ^_^
_debbiechan_: ichirukisex by ileenka_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 03:00 am (UTC)

Mmmm, good, I had "Kurosaki" there but it didn't sound right. KUROSAKI ICHIGO sounds better!
_debbiechan_: batshit crazy kaien_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC)

I can write another shy one! I'm full of sex ideas!
I'm going to kill myself if 266 script doesn't come out soon. The manga is too much to bear lately (and KAIEN IS TOO ADORABLE, THAT CRAZY MAN).
bittergourd tea; sugar-free.oymillefeuille on March 8th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)

I'll love it if you can write another IchiRuki sex story next time!~ No rush, though, as you've made me so happy with this one. Hehehe ^____^

Waiting for your next story, Rukia/Orihime or KaiRuki or whatever you plan to write, I'll read it. XD
_debbiechan_: Chizuru_debbiechan_ on March 8th, 2007 05:52 am (UTC)

Looks like it's going to be RukiOri. The Kaien one is mostly just Ruki talking to his wife XD. No sex there!
bittergourd tea; sugar-free.oymillefeuille on March 9th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
I just realised you tagged RukiOri as yuri? o.o I don't think I dare to read it.. Sorry >_>

I mean, I don't like yaoi, but I can *still* read yaoi ... but but but yuri just scares me so much. XD

_debbiechan_: meow_debbiechan_ on March 9th, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)

Ha ha. Then read the one I wrote before it... "Not Crying"

Not Crying

It's not yuri and it's sweet.

I finally wrote a yuri story--I've been promising people one for a while. I wrote a couple Yoru/Soi drabbles but never a story. So I'm happy I finally did it.
Qquaedam on March 7th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
Sargeant-major Rukia XD. . .I very much see that happening. ^^ This is why Rukia is so great.
_debbiechan__debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 03:02 am (UTC)

Long live the princess Kuchiki!

I'm really waiting for her to either kill Kaien or get it on with him bc the manga's too suspenseful for me lately.
sequora on March 7th, 2007 04:19 am (UTC)
OMG! Awesome fic! You're a damn good writer! I can't wait for those one shots to come out.

Rukia thought: three dress changes, don’t step on the kimono hem, keep smiling.

Ichigo thought: I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex, I’m going to have sex tonight.

^_^ Favorite part.
_debbiechan_: batshit crazy kaien_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC)

Thank you. There was really no way I could write a mooshy IchiRuki... maybe that's possible but it's beyond my skills at the present time.

And the next one-shot will probably be a Rukia/Orihime
Hidden Gems: Ukitake Dorky Salutehidden_gems on March 7th, 2007 10:47 am (UTC)
Loved it, and now I think I'm going to have to read Quincy Wedding Night again very soon. I loved Rukia's initial clinical approach and the love radiating from Ichigo made me sigh like a happy fangirl many times ^^

Noticed a few typos:

“Okay, show’s over,” Ichigo said. “Let’s go the party.” (missing "to")

Because banquet hall reservations for ghosts were hard to come by, the reception was held in the assembly room of the Gotei 13, not far from the Byakuya palace. (You meant "Kuchiki", right? And I think I've seen it called mansion rather than palace)

What she didn’t was because of you. (missing something)
_debbiechan_: bleach ishoe by emlan_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)

YOU ARE BELOVED. All great catches. I must've proofed a dozen times.
Hidden Gemshidden_gems on March 7th, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
You are more than welcome. Like I always say, after a while you see what you want to see and not what's there.
Grenat: omgyaiescarboucle on March 7th, 2007 11:46 am (UTC)
LOL. Oh, this fic cracked me up XD
The comment about the swords and all just sent me into laughing, hard though. And it makes totally sense for Rukia to say that, ha! XD
And poor Ichigo, sex-deprived until his big day XD
Excellent job XD

_debbiechan_: party by sxylilwitch_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)

Poor Ichigo. I can't imagine these two being anything other than virgins though--ESPECIALLY Ichigo! XD
Grenat: delightescarboucle on March 7th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
I agree, both are totally virgins XD That's probably what makes the thing even more fun you know XD

Amber: Eyesgreen_amberjade on March 7th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC)
That was so well done. I think that this has to be one of the few NC-17 fics that I have really enjoyed. Everything was just so tastfully done, and I really loved how there was a back story and plot to the story.

I have to admit that I was kind of surprised that Ichigo is only seventeen at the time of this story, but when I thought about it, it actually made a lot of sense. Both Ichigo and Rukia have survived a war, and they know their own mortality, so I can see them getting married quite quickly.

Anyway, that was absolutely lovely. I've read several of your fics on ff.net, and they are all so well-written and thoughtful. I look forward to reading more of your work.
_debbiechan_: I want babies_debbiechan_ on March 7th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)

Thank you for your kind words.

Japanese used to marry very young--they marry earlier than Americans, anyway. When I set this story right after the war (for dramatic effect and for not much change in character--I wanted them to still be goofy kids somewhat, I was thinking of Goku engaged to Chi Chi at age 17. I used to think it unlikely but I wouldn't be surprised if Kubo-san ends this manga with a wedding!
Amber: Eyesgreen_amberjade on March 7th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
Seeing how KT is a fan of Shoujo manga, I can see that happening. No doubt it would be the wierdest thing to ever happen in a Shounen manga, but it would be hilarious. The question is who would be the couple, and would it be a traditional wedding, or a Western style one?
integral_girlintegral_girl on March 9th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
Love your fic, debbiechan. :)
_debbiechan_: meow_debbiechan_ on March 9th, 2007 04:45 am (UTC)

^__^ Thank you for reading!
Patron Saint of fangirls, yaoi and fanfictionsaintalecto on March 10th, 2007 01:43 pm (UTC)
Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...
First off, let me say: Wow. You really set a high standard for losing your virginity and sex in general. I’m a little unnerved here- after all, I can’t just hand a cute boy your fics and say, “Here. I want this exactly. And for dessert, I’ll take this, please, with an extra helping of hotness.”
And, I’m sorry if you find my critiques to really only center around the boys in your fics. What can I say-I’m very slightly indifferent to the ladies of bleach. They are like, ‘Meh’ to me. And that’s not to say that in your fics they are not completely in character or that in general they are not good role models for little girls… It’s just by virtue of the fact that I am a straight, single female the Bleach boys are infinitely more appealing and because I do not know that fictional characters aren’t real-I’m completely and hopelessly in love with them. Now, my fave quotes:
[On Quincy Wedding]
“Had he not been to Soul Society and back, he would have said that gazing upon his nude bride’s body was like dying and going to heaven--but he knew that heaven was not so beautiful as his Orihime”
-What a lovely syntax and so in character.
“It was not a loud scream and it was not an agonized scream, but it broke his heart…He would stop if she asked him to. He would do anything she asked him to.”
-Ishida, ever the protector. He would make a really wonderful husband. Reserved and quiet at times, but underneath there is a torrent of passion and love that seems almost too much for even him to bear.
“No matter how many times he had saved her life, she had saved him from his loneliness. He owed her more joy than what he had attempted to give her.”
-Mmmm…how true. When someone saves you from yourself you cannot do enough to thank them. Ishida will probably still struggle with feeling lonely even after marrying Orihime- it seems apart of his Quincy nature to be distanced from everyone but every time she even so much as looks at him she will save him again. How wonderful is this love? So wonderful…
[On Shinigami Wedding]
“I wanted to take it slow,” Ichigo whined .“This is my first time too.”
- It is funny that throughout the fic you can really tell the differences in age (even before they say it) but it doesn’t seem weird or insurmountable. Sometimes Ichigo whines and needs things explained to him and Rukia obliges- I love that. That is soooo them.
“Training troops in the fields last week and tonight training a lover.”
-My first thought was, “Well, what does she know about it?” But again, it highlights their age difference and is very true to character.
“His eyes were watery, tender and drunk with love.”
-Aww…I love it when Ichigo gets mushy. It doesn’t matter if it’s with Ishida or Rukia (maybe we’ll see some IchiHime action soon?) he is still so very endearing and it makes me melt. And this brings me to my next point…
THIS is what I love about Bleach- that underneath all of their formalities, emotional distances, brave talk, rivalries and MASCULINTY- there is a tenderness that far surpasses what can be found maybe even in Orihime’s heart. All of the boys of Bleach are rivers that run deep-their destructive powers are devastating but they also have the ability to nurture and protect; everything depends on them.
And this is what I LOVE about your writing-that you can capture these boys so well and pick up were Kubo has left off. That you can imagine and develop new twists but still stay true to each character. That you have such a wonderful command of language that your words, if left unchecked, will float off of the page because they are that fucking good.
I LIVE for your fics and thank GOD they are more frequent than the weekly episodes aired on TV.
Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.
_debbiechan_: 1200_debbiechan_ on March 11th, 2007 12:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...

Can I adopt you? You're good for my unstable ego.
I try to keep the high romance in first time descriptions while making them more or less realistic. That's important to me. I don't want teenage girls thinking that they're going to have MOs the first time or that it will even feel that special emotionally (first times, seems to me, always are more emotional for guys).

I don't think Rukia's maturity comes so much from years as it does from her being a woman and not as clueless as Ichigo. Also, she's just plain bossy so I can see her wanting to take charge of sex--only to be shut up by sexy Ichigo.

You like Ichigo mushy looks? You're in for a real treat then when a certain part of the manga gets animated.

Weekly writings from me? The pressure! Honestly, I do think I may have a story out soon...

shall we be LJ friends? I've recently closed my LJ to people but I like people who type a lot.
Patron Saint of fangirls, yaoi and fanfictionsaintalecto on March 11th, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...
Oh! I'm glad my comments make you happy. I think it's really important for good writers to get in-deepth feedback. I know that when I am writing a peice, I spend entirely too much time in my head and I usually quit in a flurry of tears and curses because I don't think I could do the plot justice. That is why, once I read something really great, I have to assure the writer that the peice is as awesome as they wanted it to be.
On the first-time: Yea, no. The two wedding peices were totally realistic- it was great that the girls didn't have MO's or crazy hanging-from-the-chandelier sex, but what I meant by setting a high standard for the first-time was that the bleach boys were super- attentive to their partners. And yes, while first times are almost always better for boys in general I don't think that many real 17 y/o boys would think to at least try and make their partner come first (or set a goal to be better for her later) or not collapse on top of them in a panting heap. Ichigo and Ishida are (at least) so thoughtful- that is what I meant by handing a boy your fics as instructions.
On Rukia: Yea, I guess it would be a woman-thing. I didn't think of that. They're still so cute. And usually I can't stand Rukia- but that is another story for another day...
On mushy manga: I guess I'm really going to have to start reading it soon. It's killing me that I can't read half of fics that are out now because of the spoilers I think I'll run into. I don't think the regular book stores go up to the chapeters that I need so I'm going to have to take a trip to chinatown. Which is totally awesome, I haven't been in so long.
On weekly writings: Sorry! No pressure. I guess I was just spoiled these last couple of weeks than? That's ok. *even though I'm starting to fidget and scratch like I need a hit* Take your time!
On being friends: Yea, I'd love to be friends. I think you'd be my first. You have to promise me though that if I ever work up the nerve to post another fic that you'll honestly tell me if it's god awful. That is what friends are for, right?
Cool peas, Debbiechan. Can't wait for the next installment of pwp's '07!
_debbiechan_: Paper Girl_debbiechan_ on March 11th, 2007 05:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...

Sure, I'm not beta-ing anyone at the moment so I'd really like to see your next story.

I just wrote 15 pages of an IshiHime today--will prob post tomorrow. It's only part one so I guess I'm on a roll.

Yeah, the fics out there tend to be written by manga readers. I can imagine that must be frustrating for people who don't want to be spoiled but I think the worse thing would be that people would read these fics and expect certain things in them to be canon.

I've got all the Bleach manga by Viz--they're up to vol 16 I think? Way before where the anime is.
Patron Saint of fangirls, yaoi and fanfictionsaintalecto on March 13th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
Re: Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...
wOOT-wOOT for the Ishi-Hime!
What do you mean by people expecting certain things to be in cannon? What is cannon? Is that like the main story (as opposed to filler?)
Yea, I have a lot to learn. I really only just got into this whole anime thing. Inuyasha was my first love, then Full Metal. Now I'm bouncing back and forth btw Bleach and Naruto. Everything is so new and exciting, but when people drop words like cannon and arc- I get lost.
_debbiechan_: batshit crazy kaien_debbiechan_ on March 14th, 2007 01:12 pm (UTC)
Re: Another Long Ass Literary Critique Ahead- Hope you don't mind...

Don't worry about all the fandom terms--you pick em up! Canon means the established story in the manga. Some people use it to refer to the anime AND filler though. (there are some differences btwn manga and anime--slight ones in Bleach, huge ones in other works). Fanfiction is essentially "non-canon" except for the parts that directly refer to the manga/show.

Arc--the way a story progresses. It climbs, reaches a pinnacle of action and suspense then dwindles down. There's only been one real arc in Bleach so far (Soul Society arc)but I suppose you could could the Bound arc as its own miniarc and some of the later manga happenings as miniarcs. Right now I'd definitely say we're in the Hueco Mundo arc. That's where I seem to be spoiling everyone bc I'm mostly writing in that time period!
V to the A to the D-E-R (Vader!)jaina on March 22nd, 2007 02:55 pm (UTC)
Bah, I meant to leave a comment for this earlier--there are some nits I would pick in this story were I a beta (I doubt they'd want kids THAT early, and just to be anal I wouldn't call it a palace)--but overall, this is a really nice story here, sweet and very dorky, which is just how they should be. Many good lines, but I think this is my favorite:

Then Isshin, still blubbering, said, “It’s okay, son--everyone knows now that you’re not a homosexual.”

Oh, daddy. <3
_debbiechan_: I want babies_debbiechan_ on March 22nd, 2007 08:13 pm (UTC)

Haha, I'm so stuck on calling it a palace. Another friend keeps saying it's a mansion, it's a mansion. I think nobility lives in a palace!

Probably right about the kids. Although Rukia could force Ichigo into anything.

I love Isshin--wish I had the chance to write him more. He just appears here and there in my fics.
V to the A to the D-E-R (Vader!)jaina on March 22nd, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC)
Probably just a matter of semantics--to me, when I hear palace, I picture a castle. I guess technically it is a mansion, though obviously not the kind we have around here. I tend to call it an estate, esp. since it likely has more than one building.

She probably could! I think it's more a matter of convincing her, though, just because of the hysical limitations involved. I think she would haaaaate actually being pregnant, though the end result would be not so bad. But she's a working girl, and getting taken out of commission physically would rankle. IMHO both of them could live without kids...but he seems the type to want them, and when we've seen her around kids, she's been pretty damn good with them. Might just be an issue of finding the right time.

Same here. I'm not sure hoe well I'd do with him as the focus of a fic, but he's fun to sprinkle here and there.
Jubei: Current Couple [1]chibi_ai on April 15th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)
You are a goddess! Thank you SO much!! I needed that so bad! ICHIxRUKI LOVE!! =DDD Kya ~squee. Thanks so much for sharing such an awesome fic!
_debbiechan_: IchiRukisex 2 by ileenka_debbiechan_ on April 15th, 2007 01:31 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I really need to write these two more.
morbidfeather on May 21st, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC)
thanks for the fic especially the slight lemon though i am surprised that she wants him to stab her and get it over with and then enjoy after, although i get her point too :D

btw, above you said "first times, seems to me, always are more emotional for guys." You are so bad! how many (male) cherry did you take?! *grins*

oh, nice jewish quote up there. isn't that the one tatooed on Posh's nape? it's quite a meaningful phrase.
_debbiechan_: ichirukisex by ileenka_debbiechan_ on May 21st, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
Re: cute

btw, above you said "first times, seems to me, always are more emotional for guys." You are so bad! how many (male) cherry did you take?! *grins*

I refuse to answer on the grounds that the answer might incriminate me. XD

THANKS for reading!
(Anonymous) on July 9th, 2012 11:16 pm (UTC)
_debbiechan_: rukia peeking_debbiechan_ on July 10th, 2012 09:51 am (UTC)